little time to think

when 2012 came knocking at my door...
i thought it would be a relaxing visit..
but who knows right after CNY, i've been so occupied by many events...

TIOS, Alpha, WL training, speaking engagement, ES camp...

Seriously, they are all not very hard but need time to think and plan...
perhaps i wasn't quick enough in my thinking process...
or maybe i juz didn't anticipate...
yet i need to admit that i am not a good 'forecaster'...
i can't think in detail..
that's why angela always said i need such person in all the events that i run..

but year after year, event after event... i juz can't seem to find them quick enough..
well, now i need someone who can help to think along with me..
one bad thing about "no time to think", everything happened to quick...
that i can't see what's wrong, where can i improve...

having said that, i discover that recently God has been very gracious to me..
while i have little time to think, God put in ideas and thoughts very instantly...
He has been giving me lots of insight, revelation within a very short time..
read the passage once or heard some pointers and i immediately picked up...
i know it's not me..
couldn't be me...
i am not smart, not wise, rather slow...
malay word is 'kayu'...
but God has been so good to me..

yesterday i was just thinking about what happened lately...
what i learned from the camp..
then suddenly it just dawn on me...
Christianity is really about relationship...
first relationship with God...
it's not about what can we attain from what can we do..
Love and salvation is a gift from our Heavenly Father...
who wanted to have a relationship with us..
so it's really not just about going heaven..
facing problem in lives, how to be good, etc...
it's about - developing a love relationship with God...
getting to know Him, discover His love and goodness..
Next is relationship with others..
not so much in pleasing or having a good time with others...
but how to love others, journey with them...
it's about knowing them as a person...
well, this is the part that is challenging...
because man has so many weaknesses...
which i am guilty of..

anyway.. sometimes it's good to have little time to think...
coz that's when we are supposed to know that we need His grace...
and His grace is sufficient..
no worries.. Jesus is in the vessel...